I'll Be Right Back
First off, I am proud of this small display of discipline. Turns out this is what it was all about for me. Setting a goal and taking the time to accomplish it. Last year when I did the social media break (and failed to document it) my reason was for mental health. Someone I considered family took their life. This was a person that I never suspected as someone that would take their own life. It shook me to my core. While his death was tragic and my heart broke for the family he left behind, his death was not what shook me. What shook me we’re the personal demons that had haunted me most of my life. They rose up out of the shadows and made themselves known. There were countless times that I felt life had beaten me down enough where I wondered if the world would be better off without me. To be clear, I have never attempted suicide. I don’t think I have been close but who really knows what close is?
It’s a topic I rather save for a podcast. This blog is about this year. I didn’t plan to do a break this year but when that last week of January rolled around something told me I had to. As this little challenge came to the end I realized how much satisfaction I got out of setting a goal and accomplishing.
I was fearful this would negatively affect my personal brand that I am building but I had to push past that. I feared people wouldn’t show up to my shows but they did. I felt out of touch and like I was missing out. FOMO. But I pushed past those fears too. I conquered Mark Zuckerberg if only for a month. Oh he tried to lure me back with emails of what I was missing or check out my new followers. But I ignored him like a homeless asking for change outside of 7/11.
What you will read below are my 28 days during the break. These are thoughts I had randomly throughout the day. The first two sentences could have been in the morning and the rest of the paragraph at night. I think this really captures my relationship with social media and how it’s removal affect my daily life. It’s fascinating to see how much I relied on it almost as an old man relies on a cane. For me it’s a crutch that allows me to frequently escape reality. Sure I use social media for business purposes but so much of the opening my phone and scrolling was for no reason. A waste of time. I am addicted to those little hearts that pop up after a post. Opening my app every 10 mins to check for another dose. I share all of this, even though I know how stupid it is, because 1) it’s good content and 2) I curious how many people can relate. Will this trigger something in someone? It has for me. I have in no way corrected any flaws I detailed above but I am aware of them. I am learning how self awareness is a power tool to improving my life. There’s no shame in identifying flaws or shortcomings. There’s only shame in denying them. The more I share the less I have to carry and I am all about losing deadweight right now. I would love to hear your feedback in the comments below or message me on social media. Thanks for reading.
Day1
The first thing I felt during my social media break is an incredible urge to take selfie‘s and post them. I want people to see my face
Now all of a sudden I have things to post on Twitter. I keep thinking of things I could tweet. Now I want to be funny. I also keep opening my phone. I need to open an app. I need to scroll.
Day2
Forced to be in the moment. What do people do all day without social media. I needed to scroll so bad I started going through the review sections on google of the bars or restaurants of the open mics or shows I’ve done. I came across a show where a comic (Tom Mongelli) left a good review, for a show that booked him, and only gave it 4 stars!?! Why not 5? Did something happen? Did you bomb and your ego wouldn’t let you give it 5 stars? I am not even sure if I want to mention comedy when I leave my reviews. People probably think my reviews are fake. I write puff pieces. Being home is lonely again without being connected to the world. I am still called by my phone if I leave it somewhere. I need to get up and run to it.
Day3
Wasn’t on my phone most of the day. Again, more thoughts for twitter but no tweets. Last night had a lot of moments I could share but didn’t do it. First comedy show without social. I am not sure if it’s getting better or not. Everyone in my family snores.
Day4
I am very grateful I missed everyone’s expert opinion on the super bowl. I won an office pool and I’m getting lo of the attention I’m missing from social media. I want to tell everyone that I won but no one cares. This teaches me it’s ok to keep somethings to myself. I am still opening my phone and wondering what I am looking for. It seems like I spent all this money on this high tech phone and it doesn’t do anything else! Do you know what iTunes U is? Its a university in your phone! I’m not that bored yet though...
Day5
I’m starting to text people in the form of tweets. When I have a random thought about a podcast or something that I would normally tweet, I just send a text. Def not the same response. 5 days in and I’m still picking up my phone, unlocking it and looking for an app to open so I can scroll. I do get more excited to see my comedy friends now that I don’t know every thought their thinking throughout the day. One comic didn’t show up to the show and I don’t think she has my number. I wonder if she sent me a message on Instagram.
Day6
Another day another screen unlock. I need to focus on not picking up my phone for no reason. There is something driving me to continuously grab my phone, unlock it and then put it down again when I see there are no notifications. Can I just leave my phone alone? I am raging and I’m glad I’m not on social media to add to it. So far this week I’ve deleted apps I don’t use, organized the apps I have left by moving them around, started moving my jokes over in to an app to organize them better and browsed around the App Store...a lot.
Day7
My bro asked my last night to do something on Facebook for him and I had to tell him no because I’m not on social media. That was a plus lol. As the first week is coming to an end, I have noticed that I am more excited to see my friends now that I don’t interact with them as much. Not only just talking but just seeing their posts is an interaction in my opinion.
Day8
Haven’t went to sleep yet. I can’t sleep. Wish I could scroll endlessly and be put to sleep by other people’s opinions. No dice. I was on the computer and I was so tempted to type Face in to the browser. I know Facebook would be the first thing to pop up. I never logged out. I never looked out of twitter either. “Cmon Vic...just take a quick peek. Then you can log out.” The mind games are real! Ok so I got some sleep. Now I am thinking of all the notifications I will have when I open up Instagram on March 1st. I’m gonna know what it feels like for The Rock to open his Instagram everyday. Just Bring It!!! I’m listening to a podcast and sometimes I hear something and I want to tweet the podcast host about it. That just happened. I have my first show tonight without social media. It was sold out way in advance (because I’m awesome) so it doesn’t really effect my promotion. Not sure if it has any effect on LIUT. Just got an email from Instagram telling me what I am missing out on. It’s almost like they know! I opened the email
It I didn’t let it load and closed it.
Day9
It’s almost 12 am and I didn’t think to write anything all day. Didn’t miss social media much today except for the 30 or so times I grabbed my phone, opened it and closed it again. I did wish I could see the posts about the show last night. Search hashtags etc etc. Hope I remember to check location posts for the venue Stone & Rail.
Day10
I got another email from Instagram trying to tell me about what I’m missing. Do they know I’m on a break? Never got those emails before. They must know I’m not logging on. Today is my daughters birthday. I don’t share her with social media that much so this isn’t a trigger. Some parents kids can’t move without being on social media. Which isn’t wrong but I’m thinking more in terms of what would trigger me during this break. You hear that? Triggers. Like I’m sort of IG coke head doing lines of likes of IG models asses. Wtf.
Day11
Had some FOMO today. I kept opening my phone expecting to be included in some fun but the phone without social media is very isolated...surprisingly. Maybe I just don’t know what else this phone is good at lol.
Day12
Today sucked without social media but not for the obvious selfish reasons. We had a snow storm today and I’m not able to update the millions of people wondering what’s going on with the show tonight. I don’t know what comics are going to make it tonight or what comics messaged me already that they aren’t coming. I also don’t know about the weather without all of my Facebook meteorologists giving me updates throughout the day. I miss them and their snow day pics.
Day13
Taking a shit without social media sucks. Especially at work where they block any fun apps. I’m reading and rereading emails. Looking at pictures in my camera roll and deleting them. I have been doing a lot of organizing so far this month. Social media can be a great place to hide from your own feelings. There’s nowhere to hide right now and I really wish there was.
Day14
Happy Valentines Day! I’m going to miss all the mushy Valentine’s Day posts. Awwwww. 🤮 I got a new haircut today. Chopped it all off. I can’t help but wonder how many likes my nugget head would get. Would it get more likes than my hair? That might be how I judge what cut I get next. Based on other people’s opinions of me. But of course, I don’t care what people think (insert sarcasm).
Day15
Taking a shit is really boring. Went out to eat. It takes incredibly long to start drinking and eating when you have to take pics to post.
Day16
I was home all day. Felt a lot more isolated that usual. I read articles in apple news, Digg and LinkedIn. There is always a desire for mindless scrolling. My wife asked me which social media platform I missed the most and my answer was it depends on what I am looking for. For mindless scrolling, I miss Instagram. For information or news, I miss Twitter. To connect and socialize, I miss Facebook. Very interesting to view my personal dynamics with each platform in such a way. I miss sharing my opinions and jokes. It almost feels like my voice was taken away. I am so much happier to see people though. I think social media robs us of the anticipation of seeing people. Like if we lose the ability to miss someone because we have this window in to their day and it’s almost like we’re with them.
Day17
I had nothing to write about his day. Social must have not been in my mind that much which is a good sign halfway through?
Day18
Events at work today make me wish I had social media. Can’t go in to details because it’s top secret but damn it’s tugging at me today. I can’t wait to relaunch the #LunchTimeHideout and get that going again. I feel like I am going to be reinvigorated towards growing my personal brand.
Day19
I’m starting to text people pics with jokes instead sharing them in social media. It’s a quick fix. Not as rewarding though. I would have to copy and paste that text and send it to a bunch of people. Making people laugh online used to be my fix. Now it’s doing it on stage. But I still like making people laugh anyway I can. In person, via text, on stage....it’s all the same fix. 10 years ago I completed a program called drug court which was my alternative to a 4 year prison sentence. I also met the woman that would later become my wife and mother to my first and only child. It’s so crazy how life works sometimes. This almost made me want to log on to social media just to share this story. To say this was a pivotal point in my life is an understatement. She was my gift for a long, hard maturing process.
Day20
The home stretch. 8 more days. I am anxious & excited to get back to building my personal brand. I have so many ideas and so much to work on. I need to use these last days to prepare. I have not gotten as much done as I hoped as I used most of my spare time to explore the Wild West in 1912 while playing Red Dead Redemption 2 (RDR2) for PS4. Its a brilliant game with stunning graphics. I would usually fire the game up and it would sit while
I spent 45 mins on social media.l before playing. I noticed I am more impatient with texts or maybe that is my excuse for continuing to open my phone without a purpose.
Day21
I got an email from Instagram telling me how many new followers I have. Unopened the email and there was a list. I scrolled through it and got 4 new names but didn’t click the link to see more. I was very tempted. It’s almost like IG knows I’m a week away.
Day22
I had a problem with my Discover card and I can’t complain on Twitter. Large companies have social media people that respond and are usually able to provide a higher level of service then when you call in. I am so tempted to log on real quick and complain but that would spiral out of control because I would have to wait for a response. That would most likely start a scroll epidemic. I want to ask large groups of people a question and have everyone give me answers that I can scroll through for information. Miss you Facebook.
Day23
I was at a kids birthday party and there were a few times I was just staring at my phone with no where to go. I was at a social event and instead of socializing, I was hiding behind a screen. Why are we like this now? I like to do this thing where whenever I am around people like a doctor’s office waiting room or an elevator, I intentionally stay off of my phone and just watch everyone else with their heads down scrolling away.
Day24
Another day and another angry tweet I wanted to send out. Damn you Applebee’s in Hackensack.
Day25
I heard Brody Stevens died and I couldn’t help but google Joey Diaz twitter and I started scrolling through his timeline before I even reloaded what I did. RIP Brody. Depression is a bitch that kills. I did this social media break last year for mental health reasons that I’ll get in to on a later date on my podcast. For now, if you’re reading this, take care of yourself. And look out for each other.
Suicide Lifeline: If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time of day or night or chat online.
Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they dial 741741.
Day26
Nothing going on today. Another day of not knowing what’s going on. There is some peace in that though. Still excited to see people
Day27
Oh shit. We are almost at the end. I am already planning out some videos I want to make. Need to promote a bunch of stuff. I am excited about it.
Day28
It’s here. The last day of the break. While I am glad it’s coming to an end a part of me wants to keep going and see how long I can last. What if I did 2 months next year? Or do another month this year? What other ways can I find to challenge my self discipline. I feel so weak when it comes to discipline but this is something that proves if I put my mind to something, I have more control than I think.