My FIrst Blog Post

If you are reading this, thank you.  I created this blog section as a way to express myself via the typed word.  I created this website about a month ago and I am finally writing something.  I have been thinking of the perfect topic, the perfect format etc etc etc. What I haven't done is create anything.  So I wanted to take a second to just say Hi and Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

I am working on a lot of projects with comedy, my podcast, my social media pages and I am having a difficult time staying on track.  There are so many things I want to accomplish and I find myself spinning my wheels some times.  I am a notorious procrastinator and I can be extremely lazy at times.  Those are 2 of the qualities that I dislike the most about myself.  The good news is that the things I want to do, I actually enjoy so its not hard to get back to them.  

Another creative struggle I have is that I doubt myself.  I let voices in my head talk me out of things because I think about how others will react.  I know it's silly but its something I am continuously battling with.  I feel like I am getting my shots in too or I would never have given stand up a try.  I am getting stronger at it.  I feel myself loosening up and being more of myself.

Here is an interesting thought about that last paragraph.  I used to get picked on a lot as a kid and I was never good at defending myself verbally or physically.  I would always go home and play the scenarios out again in my head and have better jokes or do things physically that I really couldn't do on my best day.  Years of this led me to build a sharp tongue and tough guy persona (at least I thought I was tough).  It was all an act.  It was an act to try and prevent me from feeling what I felt growing up.  The point that I am trying to make is that I am still trying to drop this persona that I created so that I can be my true self.  My silly self.  I want to share this journey with you through many different outlets.  I hope you stick around for the ride!